fuckk lah. so bloody stressed up over so many bloody things. only the first week of skool, and things have gone like this. seriously, i dunnoe whether its me that is bringing down the mood on everyone, or whether its everyone testing out my patience every single motherfucking day. especially the last four days. everything seems so irritating to me. which is why i'm blogging now lar dumb. cos i need to de-stress slash vent out my anger slash being a motherfucking asshole who will say fuck every two or three bloody lines.
monday was okay. well come to think of it, it was the best of all the weekdays. kinda weird since everyone says they hate monday cos of "monday blues". come to think of it again, wat the fuck is monday blues? everyday seems to be so moody everyday of the week.
i guess i'm lucky. i'm just lucky i've been through this a couple of million times before. i've been through more days without smiling than u can ever imagine. days of old. woh. bukit batok days. sec 1 days. judo days. sec 2, 3, and 4 days. days of gloom. days of faking it. days of being an ass. days of shit. watever.
being used is not fun. okay, u may not understand wat being "used" is. being used is my term of us good hearted guys who in the end get bullied by their own best frens. alrite alrite wait a minute. to my dear nyp family, i havent found a much more fun and caring bunch of peeps who at least will wait for me when i go to the toilet. hur hur.
and to the used nation, wake the fuck up! stand up for ur own rights and dont regret it when u get hurt and betrayed by people whom u call frens. if u cant stand it, walk away. just walk away from it all cos u gotta realise that its not worth it. my heart goes to those who is going thru all this now, cos i noe how it feels. i was confused beyond reason. but now i noe. now i noe who my family are. and now i also noe wat to do to these ppl who like to betray, make jokes out of others and think they're a joker. leave them. we dont need those fuckers.
whoa. okay. just got msg from sam asking whether to postpone tmr's outing to next saturday. okay lor. anything ah. next week u all can come my house without me lor cos i got plans next week. so yeah. have fun next week guys. oh yeah. i'm not angry. i'm taking ur advice arthur. to smile when u face shocking and potentially irritating situations. hehe. keep smiling aful. thats wat i used to call myself when i was small. aful. aWful. haha. see. i'm smiling now. woooo. =)
it feels good to let go of everything once in a while. somehow, i just cant let go of things verbally. everyone knows i got some kind of speech problem. as in, most of the time i cant speak clearly and i often repeat them. i find it easier to do that by writing my thoughts away. thats y i dont usually tell my problems. cos i find it hard to translate how i feel when i'm talking.
oh ya by the way, its my first time writing in paragraphs. it feels like writing an essay. but hell. quite fun also lar. hehe. dunnoe wat way to write next time. maybe will resort to my old ways. which is, a few words, then a few full-stops. an example would be:
"i love this entry..
its so sweet...
woooo...
haha....
hurhur.."
back to this blog entry. i feel so good now after writing down all this. even though tmr is cancelled and bla bla bla, i feel good. for once in this week, i'm starting to look at the motherfucking bright side of life.
and yeah. sorry for the moody sessions i had with u this week. take care peeps.
No comments:
Post a Comment